Sunday, August 30, 2009

Is it worth discussing?

I've always heard the axiom to never discuss politics or religion. This is law in my family and I believe it is because they absolutely can not justify their positions on anything. They can regurgitate what they hear from their pastors or talk radio but they can not cogently express themselves as to why they believe what they believe.

I like wild unfettered and opinionated debate. I want you to put up or shut up. Give me some facts. Do your dead level best to persuade me because that is what I'm going to do to you. I expect dignity and respect to go along with spirited debated unless you act like a donkey and then I'll tell you you're an ass.

To just avoid conversation or even confrontation is just cowardice. What does it say in scripture about spitting out the lukewarm? That's how I feel about it.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Friday, August 28, 2009

One step back

I was starting to feel kind of good. I was able to go visit some friends and do some cooking and stuff around the house. Then this morning I woke up all swollen from the neck up. My dialysis nurses had no idea what was causing it and gave me a laundry list of possibilities... allergies, drug interactions, etc.

This is what wears me down the most. I start to feel better and then I get kicked in the head again. I think God is pissed at me.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

The Wiener Mobile

I just saw a picture of the Oscar Mayer Wiener Mobile on MP's blog. There are a few things that make me laugh out loud every single time I see them and the wiener mobile is one of them. In my perfect world everyone drives a vehicle that looks like some sort of lunch meat or vegetable. Sports cars would be lunch meats. Big, comfortable sedans would be vegetables. Prius and Smart Cars would be baby patty pan squash.

I think I've had too many drugs this morning.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Pat from Benton

If you're out there please get in touch. I miss you.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Happy Sunday y'all

I'm starting to feel like a human bean again. Yesterday I cleaned the kitchen and today I'm doing a little laundry. I can't get the wet stuff out of the washer and into the dryer so Gary will have to do that part. I'm not coughing as much and my appetite is strong.

My dear friend and evil twin Sue's brother is a little better. Isn't prayer a wonderful thing. I believe in the concept of inter-being. We're all connected with all of creation and when we put forth healing, positive energy it works. There are all kinds of healings and I know we don't see all of them on this earth but I believe with all my heart that they happen.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

More Saturday ramblings

Once a year I buy Vogue magazine. The September issue aka The Book. This year, in deference to the economy I suppose, the book is about 200 pages less than last years. The fashion artistry is just beautiful. Of course, some of it is ridiculous like the 8 inch high heels. That is not fashion that is fetish. My favorite editorial was the current looks that are reminiscent of the 1940s. It is a wonderful reinterpretation of that glamour. Even in the wars years the women did so much to look sharp and put together. My mom told me they used to draw lines up the backs of their legs so it would look like they were wearing stockings.

I love art of all types. I so admire people who can write a poem, paint a picture, carve sculpture and create beautiful meals. I am a pretty good cook. I have my specialties and I've had some failures that were just astronomical. I like to watch the cooking competition shows on Food Network. Th cake and sugar artistry just blows me away. I'm also a big fan of Top Chef and Iron Chef American. Kind of crazy to watch people make this fabulous food you can't taste or smell but they are artists and masters at work.

Random thoughts about today

Yesterday my priest called just to see how I was doing. She's coming to see me next week to bring me communion. I know St Peter's is not as big as the cathedral but they also have a much smaller staff who seem to get more done in the the area of pastoral care. I guess it is a matter of priorities.

I want to go to the art store and but a zillion new colored pencils. I know it is kind of goofy for a 55 year old woman to be coloring in coloring books but they are quite beautiful and it is so relaxing. My artistic talents are very limited. I can't draw a stick figure but I seem to be pretty good at mixing colors and letting beautiful patterns evolve. Oh, and I can stay in the lines.

My brother and his wife came to see me yesterday. His wife is pretty fired up that I can't get any help around the house. Housekeepers here want anywhere from $50 to $75 an hour. I will admit I think housekeeping is worth that but I can't afford it. She's going to try to pull something out of her bag of tricks to get me some help. You can't get any assistance paid by Medicare or Medicaid unless you're 65 or over. Doesn't matter how sick you are, that is the arbitrary cut off point.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Home again

I just got home from the hospital and man oh man am I glad to be here! I'm up on my couch nesting with the wiener dogs. I still have some congestion in my lungs but Dr Kimball loaded me up with drugs and inhalers and everything I need to get rid of this crud. Great news, the feeding tube is removed. I'm FREE again! ha!

My new priest at St. Peter's came to see me twice and I really like her a lot. We had an instant and deep ability to communicate and I feel like I can trust her.

Thanks everyone for the prayers and emails. They mean so much. Love, R

Friday, August 14, 2009

You fall out of your mother's womb, you crawl across open country under fire, and drop into your grave. - Quentin Crisp

The good news is the vein study went well. It hurt like a bitch but at least everything was okay. The bad news is I have bronchitis and an hardly breathe. Story of my life. One step forward and one step back.

Monday, August 10, 2009

A wonderful thing

I got home from dialysis this morning and I was feeling pretty sick to my stomach and in a bad funk. Tomorrow I have to go have the vein study and I'm a bit worked up about it. So I was just sitting around feeling rather sorry when I got a wonderful phone call.

I told you all that I had transferred our membership back to St. Peter's. I was confirmed there, my husband was confirmed there and we were married there. It is my one real church home. The people there love me warts and all. And I love them.

So, the phone rings and it is the priest at St. Peter's. She is coming to see me next week and bringing me communion. I am just so very happy about that!!!

Friday, August 7, 2009

There's nothing like a silly wiener dog to cheer you up

Thank you

Thank you for the prayers and kind words. I don't know what brought on this spell of darkness. Maybe I'm just tired. I'm doing my best though and I'm sure I'll be back to my wacky self soon.

Love and prayers for all, Roseann

Thursday, August 6, 2009

It is dark today

It is dark in my soul today.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Drive Bobby McFerrin

Dialysis fun

Dialysis isn't bad. It doesn't hurt and the worst thing about it is you get freezing cold during the process. I take it back, the worst thing about it is if you aren't asleep you get bored to tears. I can lie still, hooked up to the feeding tube for 8 to 10 hours a day and I'm fine. I'm in my nest with my wiener dogs and satanic kitties. I can color mandalas, read, play on my computer and sometimes watch a little TV. The good thing is my dialysis center is a nice place with friendly, professional people working there.

Probably the hardest thing about dialysis is occasionally there will be a patient who is a little out of their mind. They tend to talk to Jesus in a very loud voice. I wish that Jesus would tell them to talk a little softer but so far he's keeping out of it. Finally one day I just couldn't take it anymore and I told the woman, who was in the bed next to me, that I had just talked to Jesus and he wanted her to go to sleep now. It worked. She calmed right down and went off to sleep. I hope Jesus doesn't mind that I spoke for him.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

You ate what?

Food, glorious food. One of the few advantages of my condition is they want me to get as many calories in as possible. The anti-diet. So this morning I had a Butterfinger for my pre-breakfast snack. Damn good. I also totally get the Hobbit's concept of second breakfast. Somedays I just can't eat but when I can I really pack it in.

I love you all and you're in my prayers, Roseann

p.s. John Dawid rocks like a big dog!!

Monday, August 3, 2009

Oh, honey! What's wrong?

Let me tell you, when in my state the first words you hear in the morning from your beloved are, "Oh honey! What's wrong?" it is most disconcerting. My head and neck were swollen like never before. I didn't just look like a chipmunk on crack, I looked like a herd of chipmunks on crack.

I went to dialysis and they took one look at me and wanted to send me to the ER but since I could breathe okay they went ahead and hooked me up. 3.5 liters of fluid later the swelling had gone down significantly. My nephrologist, the amazing Dr. Kimball decided to set me up for a veinogram so they can determine if there is some sort of blockage with the catheter going into my heart. I'll have this procedure done on Thursday.

In the meantime I kind of look like Cartman, so respect my authoritie!

Love and prayers to you all, Roseann

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Grillades and Grits

I've heard this was a breakfast dish made for the men before they went out hunting. I serve it at brunches, well when I had brunches and often for dinner. It is Creole at its finest. And make the grits! Even if you think you don't like them make some creamy white grits. Quick grits are okay instant grits are not.

Grillades & Grits Recipe

2 lbs Round Steak
2 teaspoons Kosher Salt
¼ teaspoon Cayenne Pepper
½ Cup A.P. Flour
1.4 tspn pepper

1 tspn dried thyme

4 tbls unsalted butter
1 Medium Onions, Chopped
1 Bell Pepper, Chopped
2 Ribs Celery, Chopped
2 Cloves Garlic, Minced
2 Cups
Beef Stock
3 Tbsp
Worcestershire Sauce
2 Cups Tomatoes, Chopped or 1 14.5 ounce can

Salt & Pepper to taste
1 Recipe of Grits made according to the Package Instructions

Pound the Round Steak on both sides to about ½ inch thickness, then cut into 4 inch squares. Season the Grillades with the salt & pepper. Combine the flour, cayenne pepper and thyme then dip the Grillades one at a time into the seasoned flour and shake off any excess. In a cast iron dutch oven, heat 2 tbl butter over medium heat until very hot, but not smoking. Brown the Grillades well on both sides without burning. Transfer the Grillades to a plate. Melt the remaining butter over medium heat. Add the Onions, Bell Pepper, Celery, and Garlic and, stirring frequently, cook until the vegetables are soft but not brown. Add the remaining flour to the vegetables and stir for a few minutes to remove the floury taste. Stir in the Beef Stock, Worcestershire, Tomatoes; bring the mixture to a boil. Reduce the heat to medium-low. Return the Grillades and the accumulated juice from the plate back to the pot. Submerge the Grillades in the sauce and simmer for about 1 to 1 ½ hours or until they are very tender.

Serve over grits.

Gillaades is pronounced GREE-ahdes.