Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Good news for kidney donors

New England Journal:


Jan 28th, 2009 | NEW YORK -- Donating a kidney doesn't appear to have any long-term health consequences for the donor, a reassuring study shows. Researchers at the University of Minnesota found those who gave up one of their two kidneys lived a normal life span and were as healthy as people in the general population. The donation also didn't raise the risk of having kidney failure later.

Kidney donation has generally been considered safe, although with surgery, there are always risks. The new research of nearly 3,700 donors dating back more than four decades is the largest and longest study to look at long-term outcomes, said the researchers. They reported their findings in Thursday's New England Journal of Medicine.

"It is a confirmation that living donation is a safe thing," said Dr. Matthew Cooper, a transplant surgeon at the University of Maryland, who was not involved in the research.

Kidneys filter waste and excess fluid from the blood. If your kidneys fail, the options are dialysis or a transplant. More than 78,000 people are on the national waiting list to receive a kidney from a deceased donor. The need for kidneys has soared with the rise in diabetes and obesity and the wait can last for years.

Living donation has increased as more people became willing to donate and newer surgery techniques shortened recovery time. In 2007, more than a third of the 16,629 kidneys transplanted in the U.S. came from living donors, according to the United Network for Organ Sharing.

Dr. Hassan Ibrahim, the study's leader, and his colleagues wanted to find out what happened to the 3,698 people who had donated a kidney at the university since 1963. They tried to contact everyone and used government records to find out who had died. A group of 255 donors was randomly selected to have kidney and other tests. Results were compared with health outcomes for the general population.

Overall, 268 of the donors died, which the researchers said was comparable to survival in the general population. Eleven donors developed kidney failure decades later and needed dialysis or a transplant. The researchers said the rate of kidney failure in the donors was lower than that reported in the general population.

Most of the donors tested had good kidney function and reported an excellent quality of life, the study found.

The good outcomes likely reflect the strict criteria used to pick the donors, the researchers said. The donors had to be healthy with no kidney problems, and be free of high blood pressure and diabetes -- two main causes of kidney disease.

Ibrahim said he hopes the results will increase donations and encourage transplant centers to continue to carefully select donors and not relax their requirements.

"We think these donors do extremely well because they were screened very well," said Ibrahim.

While there are no regulations for selecting living donors, the transplant network offers guidelines, said Cooper, who heads a UNOS committee on living donors. He said any kidney donor who later needs a transplant is given priority on the waiting list.

"There is a recognition of the sacrifice that these people have made," Cooper said.

Drs. Jane Tan and Glenn Chertow, of Stanford University School of Medicine, who wrote an accompanying editorial in the journal, noted that the study donors were mostly white and were likely younger than donors today. The results may not apply to older, nonwhite donors, they said.

The value of the study is its large size and duration, Tan said.

"We always have to be careful when it comes to potential harm to another individual," she said. "This study is very reassuring."

The University of Minnesota is part of a similar, ongoing study with other transplant centers that will have a larger and more diverse donor group, Ibrahim said.

One of the study donors said she didn't worry about potential problems when she gave a kidney to her oldest brother in 1983.

"I really didn't think too much past that," said Susan Kivi, 52, of Roseville, Minn. "He just deserved another chance to live a normal life."

Her recovery from surgery was a little harder than she expected, said Kivi. But she hasn't had any health problems related to giving up a kidney since then. Her brother died about four years later.

"It was worth it. He got a few good years," she said.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Meanwhile I was still thinking

At the moment I live in the mean time. There are stages in life where that is just how things are. It mostly goes like this:

X needs to happen, it is the thing I need for my life to be the way I'd like

to get to X I have to jump through a finite number of hoops

When you're doing what you have to do to get to X, you're in the mean time. And they don't call it mean for nothing.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

“Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.”

My fellow citizens:
I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.
Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because We the People have remained faithful to the ideals of our forbearers, and true to our founding documents.
So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.

That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.
These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land - a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.

Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America - they will be met.
On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.
We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of short-cuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted - for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things - some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.

For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.

For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.

For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn.

Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.

This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions - that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.

For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act - not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. And all this we will do.

Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions - who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.

What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them - that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works - whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account - to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day - because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.

Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control - and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our Gross Domestic Product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart - not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.

As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.

Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort - even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus - and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West - know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.

As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us today, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment - a moment that will define a generation - it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.

For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.

Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends - hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism - these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility - a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.

This is the price and the promise of citizenship.

This is the source of our confidence - the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.

This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed - why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.

So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:

"Let it be told to the future world...that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive...that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet [it]."

America. In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Damned if you do...

I spoke out strongly when Obama selected Rick Warren to lead the invocation at the inaugural tomorrow. I'm glad I made that stand. It is a bad decision on Obama's part. I felt a little better when it was announced that +Robinson would give the invocation at yesterday's concert. Then another disastrous decision, to exclude the prayer from the televised show. 

I am having a hard time with this. I want to be happy. I mean less than 24 hours and the current occupant is out. I feel like the America I know and love is making a comeback. At the same time, how can I be happy when my GLBT brothers and sisters are once again forced to the back of the bus?

The prayer from +Robinson

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Saturday, January 17, 2009

A long way

Born Again American

What did I do now?

About a month ago I found a housekeeper on Craigslist. A mother-daughter team who happened to live right down the street. The mother could barely get around but the daughter did an okay job and I really, really need help.

Yesterday they showed up just 15 minutes late. When they came in I told them I needed the bathrooms, floors, and furniture dusting/oiling to be the priority and to not worry about the kitchen. I went into the living room and I heard them in the kitchen and I thought they were just getting out the cleaning supplies and all. Then I heard dishes rattling and I went into the kitchen to see what was going on. The mother was unloading the dishwasher...which was full of dirty dishes. 

I said, "I need you guys to focus on the bathrooms, etc. and not the kitchen." I didn't yell, speak harshly, use sarcasm, show any frustration. Apparently though, just asking they do what I need done instead of what they want to do was just too much for them. So they left. Didn't say a word, just got their coats and walked out.


Thursday, January 15, 2009

From the N.S. Sherlock Institute of the Obvious

History will record that George W. Bush made one critically important contribution to our country -- and to the entire world. He and his administration provided unquestionable proof of the bankruptcy of radical-conservative ideology, and set the stage for a qualitatively different progressive era in American politics. - Robert Creamer at The Huffington Post.

Too much time on my hands...

I'm on Facebook. I love it. Yes, it is a huge time suck but all I've got is time right now. I'm really happy my friends from Beliefnet have mostly migrated there. I hope dutch and some others make it eventually.

There is an application on FB, SuperPoke Pets, that has become my current addiction. The premise is you "adopt" a pet. Mine is a pig named Dale. You then play with your pet and your friends pets to earn "coins" which you then trade at the pet store for all kinds of pet stuff. With your pet and stuff you create habitats. This is where it gets really interesting. I have over 70 SuperPet "friends." These are people I don't know but have added as friends just so I can get more coins and build more habitats.

You can tell from the habitats what kind of person the owner is. Are they smart, witty, boring, indulgent, materialistic, nihilist, artist, humorist? Are they a person you'd probably want to invite over for coffee? Are they a person you'd avoid?

My favorite SuperPet friend is some guy named Jack and his pet pig Patrick. Jack is very funny and his habitats reflect a quick, sharp wit. And like me, he must have too much time on his hands because he has a new habitat almost every day.

My habitats tend to be pure whimsy or political. I'm also using my pet's "status" to appeal for a kidney donor. Who knows? Maybe Dale will find a willing donor and if they can't help me they can for sure help someone.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

11 Reasons Dogs are Better Than Children

(1) eat less;

(2) don't ask for money all the time;

(3) are easier to train;

(4) normally come when called;

(5) never ask to drive the car;

(6) don't hang out with drug users;

(7) don't smoke or drink;

(8) don't want to wear your clothes;

(9) don't have to buy the latest fashions;

(10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college; and

(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children!

What About Gay Marriage?

Holy War

So, B16 doesn't have much to do. He's just the leader of a major world religion that allegedly believes in peace, love and understanding. That doesn't fill his time though, seeking peace and justice in the world, so he has started a holy war against those poor people who see Jesus and/or Mary in a grilled cheese sandwich.

The Pope is declaring a 'holy war' against people who claim falsely that the Virgin Mary is appearing to them. He will attempt to snuff out an explosion of bogus heavenly apparitions with new guidelines to help bishops root out frauds. Benedict XVI plans to publish criteria to help them distinguish between true and false claims of visions of Jesus and the Virgin Mary, messages, stigmata - the appearances of the five wounds of Christ - and weeping or bleeding statues. In some cases exorcists will be used to determine if a credible apparition is 'divine' origin or 'demonic'. Source.

Have to wonder about B16s obsession with demons. I mean, look at those ears!

Sunday, January 11, 2009


The Buddha taught that the first principle of existence is impermanence.

Absolutely everything in this universe is impermanent.

Impermanence creates uncertainty.

I don't know about you, but I have a very low tolerance for uncertainty.

Uncertainty causes me discomfort.

Discomfort causes me to think stupid things.

Stupid thoughts cause me to take stupid actions.

My stupid actions bring about unfortunate results.

Luckily, the unfortunate results are impermanent.

Is this a great universe or what?

Chuck Lorre is my favorite guy of the day. Sometimes several days in a row. The guy cracks me up, what can I say?

Friday, January 9, 2009

Good to say outloud

"The United States does not torture. We will abide by the Geneva Conventions. That we will uphold our highest values and ideals." President-elect Barak Obama

In case you missed it

12 people will die today waiting for a kidney.

Another infraction, cause I'm evil ya know

fyi... I used to think Bob was a cool guy with a sense of humor.


You know the ROC and you're determined to violate them. This is another infraction.


This infraction is worth 1 point(s) and may result in restricted access until it expires. Serious infractions will never expire.

Original Post:

I apologize for dissing farewell threads and then posting one, but such is life.

Please do something in your local community to increase organ donor awareness. It is an easy thing to sign an organ donor card. I mean, you're dead so, no big deal! Please so something, anything, to increase awareness of this cause in your church. Only 1 in 4 of the people on the list will get a kidney in 2009.

*12 people die every day waiting for a kidney.*

I have volunteers to be a donor. I do not yet have a donor. Testing should begin soon. For those who wish to keep up please check my blog.

Take care everyone. Good luck Bob. Hope you get your soul back. :)
---End Quote---

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Thanks for the help and support guys.

Dear Beliefnet member,

I'm sure that you put a lot of time and energy into your personal blog which is wonderful if that's what you wish to do. I however do not have time to read it.

You were given the Infraction because you have repeatedly made negative comments about the Conservative Board inspite (sic) of having been asked to stop. The board was created for those who might wish to use it. Beliefnet provides a number of different types of boards for our Christian members so that as many people as possible can find a place to talk about their beliefs with others who share them. Posting disparaging remarks about the board, and encouraging other members to band together to insist that it be shut down is disruptive.

We welcome you to express your opinion within the limits of the Beliefnet Rules of Conduct which you agreed to abide by when you became a member. This does not include posting public complaints on the site. For your convenience you may review the rules at this link:

Asst. Community Manager

So, how are you?

I wake up in a whole new world everyday. Right now I'm in pain. Something hurts in my mid-section. I can't take a deep breath and eating is very difficult. I'm having an endoscopy next week, maybe we'll get some answers, who knows. In the mean time I have to deal with pain. I can take pain meds and be mental jello or I can be in pain. 

One choice here. Pain or Messed up. Most days I have to choose messed up. It is not my favorite life.

There is no progress to report. One of my volunteer donors will be tested Tuesday. I see the transplant shrink on the 26th. 

Gary and I both don't know what to say to anyone anymore. It is just so awful when your life is sucking day in and day out. So if you ask us how we are and we say, "fine" it isn't that we don't want to talk to you and tell you how things really are it just takes so damn long and we're so tired of telling the story again and again and not being able to see a happy ending. 

We're coping. We're in uncharted territory and sometimes we don't know how to act.

We love you though. We really do and we're so grateful for the prayers and love.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Got 2 kidneys?

Got 2 kidneys? Really? I need one. Donors are being tested now. Step right up and email me if you'd like to try out to be my volunteer donor. 

Glossy Book of Lies Will Save Bush Legacy

I just read this on Gawker and I want to make sure y'all see it! Click on the first line to read the entire article and actually page through the book. Make sure you're not drinking anything or you'll spit all over your computer.

The White House has released an awesome book called "Highlights of Accomplishment and Results" from "The Administration of President George W. Bush." Let's page through it!

This presumably final report of the Bush legacy project, which brought Bush superstars Karl Rove and Karen Hughes back to the White House, is a 50-page book (warning: pdf) detailing every misleading argument you will hear coming from Bush mouthpieces from now until the end of time. Eventually enough of the talking points will be repeated enough times that they will become accepted truths, and Bush will be seen as having been Not That Bad, probably by 2010 or so.

The best part of the book, besides the awesome and heroic pictures, is the "Did You Know?" boxes, which are full of great trivia about faith-based programs and so on. Like: did you know that the Afghan economy has doubled since 2001? We're not sure if that's counting opium production or not (if not, then we're forced to point out that double zero is still zero).

Also how about that economy? You know, the last thing Bush fucked up on his way out of office? Well DID YOU KNOW that Bush cut taxes? Then there is a photo of Bush hammering a nail.

But the most important section is, obviously, "STOOD ON PRINCIPLE & SHOWED THE WAY AHEAD." This one has a photo of Bush hugging a baby. Also he is very proud of how he failed to privatize Social Security.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

It is official, I'm evil

I've posted on Beliefnet for years. I joined shortly after the site was launched. At one time we had a really lively Anglican/Episcopal board. It was fun and you'd better have sharp wits or you'd get left in the dust quickly.

Some whiner conservatives couldn't keep up and demanded their own board. Schismatics in the virtual world just like the real world. And, just as in the real world, the conservatives found they couldn't destroy the church so they abandoned the board they insisted on having. It is a new year, right? I thought it was time to have unity again. Boy was I wrong! I started a thread on the topic and here's what Beliefnet did in response.

Dear rmatth,

You have received an infraction at Beliefnet Forums.

From : BeliefnetSabee
Reason: Determined detractor/reputation vendetta

Your thread was disruptive and has been deleted.

Asst. Community Manager

This infraction is worth 5 point(s) and may result in restricted access until it expires. Serious infractions will never expire.

Original Post:

It is time. It is abandoned. It is a new year. Let's go back to being one Anglican/Episcopal Board.

Yeah, I know it won't happen but one can always hope.
---End Quote---
All the best,
Beliefnet Forums


Yesterday it was 78 and sunny in Little Rock. I love crazy weather days. I needed sunshine so I was grateful for a weird sunny day in January. 

I want to say thanks to everyone who commented on my SAD post. I'm grateful for the understanding. 

I've been fighting to get my blood pressure under control. Kidneys play a big role in regulating BP so I'm forced to take yet another medication to fill in the gap. Yes, it is a PITA to take a handful of meds just to keep the ol' bod working but I won't complain. The good news is they work. The hard part is it seems like when you fix one thing it breaks something else! I think my doctor is good at figuring out the tightrope and how to keep me balanced.

I want to send some love to the Mad Priest. The OCICBW blog has come to mean a lot to me. I've made good cyber-friends through the site. When I ask for prayer I can count on MP and the OCICBWers being there for me. They also help me get out of my own head and give me the opportunity to pray for others. I am very grateful for that gift. MP, I am glad God gave you the ministry of your blog and that you are faithful to that ministry.

Friday, January 2, 2009


Seasonal Affective Disorder and the Winter Blues have got me down. Ain't no sunshine in January. Pretty much November through March, no sunshine. It starts to wear me down around Christmas and it is in full effect now.

I find myself short tempered and wanting to be alone. Then I'm lonely and depressed. A real push-me-pull-you. I don't want to be alone yet other people just wear me out and piss me off. Lovely state of mind, let me tell ya.

With thanks to Chuck Lorre

My resolve for 2009

To let go of the fear and anger which imprisons my heart,
To relinquish all childish expectations and live joyfully in the world as it is --
not as I wish or imagine it to be,
To be free of the always craven and ever-craving ego,
To be released from the endless hungers of the body,
To see God in others,
To see God in everything,
To die without death and merge my consciousness into the
cosmic sea of bliss from which I came,