It finally came to me that I am lonely. Gary's mother is here for Christmas and I'm spending a lot of time with her but most of that is spent in a kind of awkward silence. We just don't have anything to talk about and what ever topic does come up always becomes something about her, her past, her school kids. I miss my own mother.
My husband works all the time. If he's not at the store he's working at home for his internet clients. If he's not working he's sleeping. I miss my husband.
I dialyze three times a week and see the same people every time. Unless I don't. Unless they've been put in the hospital or have died. I miss my health.
I have all the answers here. Get out, join a this or that, go to this or that meeting, volunteer, etc. etc. Easy to do when you have your health.
I'm at a bit of a crossroads. Do I keep blogging? Do I keep posting?